Stephtile

Exhausting thoughts

On Tuesday next week we’re leaving for Sweden Rock Festival. It feels like we just ordered tickets but nope, that was 6 months ago. I’ve been feeling anxious about it the last 2 months for numbers of reasons.

Here are some of ther reasons: 
Loud noises
Plenty of people
Sleeping problems
No place to walk away
Sleeping in an RV with 4 other people

But I’ll guess I will have to suffer through it. I’ve always been that kind of person that can’t enjoy myself, especially not when there’s others around. I’m scared I’ll ruin my fiancé’s fun because I’m feeling anxious. I usually tend to just walk away when it gets too much but that’s not always an option especially when it leaves my fiancé worried.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really lucky that I’m going, plus it’s a one-time experience seeing all these amazing bands in just 4 days. I bet I will have a good time and hopefully there won’t be any anxiety involved. It’s my first time going to a music festival so I guess it’s normal to be worried.

Anyway, I need to pack for this trip soon. I might do a blogpost on what I’m bringing otherwise I’ll write a blog post during or after the trip.

“I even overthink my overthinking”

MOOD: OVERWHELMED

 

 

 

Last day of school

Friday this week was the last day of school, and no I don’t have a summer vacation just yet. Honestly I don’t know what to feel, this school year just flew by really fast. Sometimes I want to throw my class mates out the window,  ha-ha no but seriously. I’m not kidding. They drive me nuts sometimes, probably because they’re younger than me. But now I feel that I will kind of miss them or at least some of them. 

On Monday I will be starting my 3-week journey as an intern on a veterinarian clinic. Last year I was an intern there as well and it was a fun experience. It made me realise that the dream I had as a young kid where I wanted to become a veterinarian is something I really want.

I wasn’t actually supposed to be on the veterinarian clinic but I changed it in the last minute because the thought of being somewhere completely new with people I’ve never met before kept me up all night. I’ve been so anxious I skipped two nights of sleep and honestly it’s not worth it.

I know I haven’t updated in a while and I really haven’t had the time nor have I had the energy to do so. I will try my best to update maybe on a daily / weekly basis what I do and get to experience at the veterinary clinic and I’ll definitely write more about what I did on my time-out.

"Go after dreams. Not people"  

MOOD: UNKNOWN

 

 

1 year with you

Today March 28th 2018, I have been together with the most amazing person for exactly one year. I can’t even describe how much he means to me or how much I love him.
I’m so lucky that I met you. It has truly been the happiest time of my life.
I don’t know what I would do without you, you’ve helped me through so much this past year. Society doesn’t accept us cause we’re both misfits but as long as we’re misfits together I couldn’t care less.

I remember when we spoke about music before we even met up in real life and I told you that I love the song  let this river flow  by  Soilwork, which happened to be one of your favourite songs. You joked about how I should marry you, little did I know I would end up getting engaged to you a couple months later.

The first time we met we went back to your place and we watched two really boring horror movies and that ended up being our thing. Watching really terrible and poorly made indie horror movies with a low budget.

 In just one year we’ve managed to go to Norway, get engaged, spend Christmas together and moving in with each other. I’m not only lucky to have met you but I was lucky enough to become a part of your family as well. Anyway, I love you so much and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
Here's a photo of me and my lovely soulmate:


Baby you’re beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s me. I’m a freak, but thanks for loving me. Cause you’re doing it perfectly.

MOOD: MADLY IN LOVE